Jun 6, 2008

Wedge of allegiance

By Malcolm Fleschner / Humor Columnist

Living in this, a certified "time of war," tensions among Americans have often led those on opposite ends of the political spectrum to question one another's patriotism, providing further opportunity for Republicans and Democrats to engage in sophisticated, thoughtful debate:

Republican: "If you love your country so much, why don't you support the troops?"

Democrat: "If you love the troops so much, why don't you sign up to go fight?"

Republican: "If you love your country so much, why don't you wear an American flag lapel pin?"

Democrat: "If you love your flag pin so much, why don't you marry it?"

Republican: "If you love your country so much, why are you such a poopyhead?"

But enough quoting from the Congressional Record. The point is that in this charged political atmosphere, anyone who takes a moral stand against the prevailing patriotic tide risks facing accusations ranging from disloyalty and America-bashing to terrorist sympathizing and supporting Ralph Nader.

That was certainly the lesson learned by Wendy Gonaver, an adjunct professor at Cal State Fullerton who, just weeks after being hired to teach a course in American Studies, was abruptly fired for refusing to sign an oath of allegiance to the U.S. Constitution and the California State Constitution. It turns out that, as a condition of employment, all prospective California state employees must sign this oath, whether they're being hired for important positions like university president or state treasurer, or comparatively low-profile jobs with little responsibility like janitor or lieutenant governor.

Technically speaking, Gonaver didn't refuse to sign the oath - she merely asked to include a note explaining that, as a Quaker and a pacifist, she could not in good conscience pledge to, as the oath states, "defend the constitution of the state of California against all enemies, foreign or domestic." Even though such exceptions have been made in the past, Cal State Fullerton refused Gonaver's request, no doubt concerned that she might flinch in the face of gun-wielding al-Qaida operatives storming into her classroom, demanding that she hand over any copies of the California State Constitution in her possession.

To get her side of the story, I called Gonaver, who said that, coincidentally enough, she had been planning on covering loyalty oaths as part of a unit on the McCarthyism era in her American studies class (full disclosure alert: Wendy and I are friends - we attended a Quaker high school together in Pennsylvania - but that in no way affects my journalistic integrity. I still don't have any).

In reality, most people who sign the loyalty pledge just treat it like a car rental agreement, signing without bothering to read the fine print or find out what the California Constitution actually says. For example, until a recent California state Supreme Court ruling, few were aware that our Constitution says same-sex couples can marry. So what else is in that thing - California's Constitution may require that state residents keep at least five live squirrels in our pants at all times, for all we know.

Besides, what does it mean for state employees to pledge to "defend" the state's Constitution? If someone insinuates that the California Constitution lacks literary merit and compares it unfavorably to a Danielle Steel novel, are state employees obligated to say, "You have offended our state's magnificent founding document. I demand satisfaction. Pistols at dawn!"

Of course not. This oath business is merely one more example of the lip service that increasingly proliferates in our society, whether in the form of children forced to mindlessly repeat the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, companies' customer service line hold messages explaining that "your call is important to us," or how we all pretend that Canada is actually a separate, sovereign country.

I asked Wendy what kind of responses she's received, and she said that the vast majority have been encouraging, including the 14,000 people who signed an online petition of support. She did mention that a couple of Internet comments had been critical, however. "There was one person who said I should go back to the country where I came from," she told me. "That was my favorite."

Happily, it looks like she'll be staying put. That's because on Monday, thanks to the efforts of her pro bono lawyer from People For the American Way and pressure from those 14,000 petition signers, Cal State Fullerton caved, and will give Wendy her job back after allowing her to sign the oath with her personal statement of objection. In keeping with her pacifist beliefs, Wendy even rejected my suggestion that she conclude her statement with the word "Suckers."

So congratulations to Wendy. Let us hope that her example will give others the fortitude to forgo all the lip service, to take bold stands and, heedless of the consequences, admit the truth: that our calls are not really important to them.

Malcolm Fleschner welcomes readers' pledges of loyalty to his column at Malcolm@CultureShlock.com.